I Surrender
by TaintedXRose05
Summary: Set after episode 3.16 ......When Lucas slips into the dark.....who will bring him back to the light?......Leyton
1. Chapter 1

ONELOSS AND REGRETS

It was 3 am and Lucas couldn't fall asleep. It's been three weeks since the shooting, but it still seems as if it were yesterday. He could see Peyton's scared eyes as clearly as he could see the barrel of the gun in his face. He could also see Keith protecting him like a father would have.

But the thing was, Keith was his father--the only father he has ever known or wanted. Every 'if only..' ran through his mind, everyday.

'If only I talked to Jimmy more...' 'If only I stayed with Keith..' 'If only I was brave..'. A single tear found its way down Lucas' cheek. He missed Keith so much. And as much as he hated to admit it, he missed Jimmy, too.

"I'm sorry." he whispered to no one, turning onto his side and falling into a fitful sleep.

When he woke up, Lucas slowly made his way into the kitchen. There, he found his mother, eyes red and puffy, sitting at the table. He turned to the sink uncomfortably.

"Um, morning mom." He didn't exactly know what to say, he hasn't seen his mother since the shooting.

"Mmhm." was her response.

"I-I think I'm going to try school today." Karen just smiled. Lucas made his way to his room to get ready for school. When it first opened again, he wasn't ready, but now he decided he couldn't stay home. He sighed as he got dressed. He examined himself in the bathroom mirror, nothing special, just a solid gray T-shirt and dark blue jeans.

One thing, though, stood out. He had cut his hair just short enough to be spiked. He wondered what his friends would say. He shook his head and walked out of the bathroom.

Picking up his keys and backpack, he nearly ran out the door. Taking one last look at the house, he drove off. Photograph by Nickelback came on the radio and he sang along.

"Every memory of looking out the back door, I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor. It's hard to say it, time to say it, goodbye.." Before he knew it, the school came closer and closer. He just sat in the car after parking, not really sure if he was ready.

He closed his eye and leaned his head back onto the window, but soon jumped as he heard a knock on it. Peyton opened the door and laughed.

"Hey stranger. I see your taste in music still sucks."she joked. Lucas just glared at her. "Or not." she said, looking away.

"Sorry, just not in the mood." Lucas said getting out of the truck and walking with Peyton.

"Well, what does it take to make a broody teenager laugh?"

"I dunno, let's find out." Lucas said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Yea! That's the spirit!" Peyton said with fake enthusiasm, fist in air. She almost fell over, causing Lucas to smile at this, for the first time since Keith died.

"Gasp! Is the great Lucas Scott smiling? Get the media!" she said, laughing at her own joke.

"Am not. You're seeing things." Lucas played along, also laughing. It felt good to be around the people who understood him. Lucas looked over to catch Peyton staring at him.

"What?" he said with the famous 'Lucas Scott' smirk on his face, the one Peyton went crazy for inside.

"Like the hair. Makes you look less, oh, I dunno, broody." Peyton told him, still eyeing him. He smiled again and shook his head.

"You so lost your brownie points for that one." he was answered with a laugh.

"You are so corny!" Peyton said.

"You know you like it." Lucas joked. They both looked at each other and burst into more laughter.

They walked into school together and his laughter stopped. They happened to be in the hallway where Keith died.

"Lets keep walking Lucas." He just nodded and followed her. He helped her at her locker when they got there, with books and such.

"Thanks, Lucas. For everything. I literally owe you my life." Peyton said softly. She was met with silence. "So where have you been?"

"Helping my mom out. She's not doin' to great." he said, worry filling his voice.

"Ok. But who's helping you?" she asked. He shot her a look and shrugged.

"I'm fine. Don't worry." was his answer. Peyton could feel his pain.

"Not trying to pry but-" he cut her off.

"Then don't,"

"How could you be ok? I know what it feels like to lose a parent. Twice by the way. I know how it feels to have an empty feeling in your heart. So don't give me the 'I'm great' excuse. I'm just trying to help you. I do care, Lucas." She let out with a cry. The tears fell freely. Peyton was hurting for her friend.

"Ok, yea, it sucks! And yes, of course I'm hurting. My uncle, who's been like my father, Just died in this school. Wouldn't you hurt? Plus having to watch your mom suffer and hear her cry herself to sleep every night! So don't act as if you can help. I don't think anyone can." Lucas yelled with tears running down his cheeks. He didn't feel like doing this right now.

"But I do know, Lucas. I know how it all feels! You honestly don't have to hide." she tried.

"Your right, Peyt, That's your job."he said and walked away. Peyton was shocked to hear it, even though she knew he was right. She finally slid to the floor, broke down, and cried.

Brooke had witnessed enough to know what was going on. She stood in the hallway, waiting for Lucas, but he just walked past her and barley gave her a passing glance. She hurried to a broken Peyton and hugged her.

"I just tried to help." whispered Peyton.

"I know, hun. I know." Brooke cooed. She decided she had to talk to Lucas, she had to know what was going on with him. Brooke shook her head and helped Peyton get through the longest day of her life.

"I don't know why I got so emotional." Peyton told Brooke as they were sitting in her room later.

"Maybe because you care." Brooke told her. Peyton just looked down. Brooke stood up, uncomfortable.

"I'm going to go talk to Luke. I'll put in a good word for ya." Brooke winked.

"Thanks." Peyton said gratefully.

"Anytime, P. Sawyer." Brooke said and walked out of the room. Peyton began to draw to take her mind off of him. But when she looked, the sketch took the form of the Broody blonde who had stolen her heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Ain't Gettin' Any Better**

Brooke showed up at Lucas' cheery and upbeat.

"Hey boyfriend, whatcha doing'? I'll tell you. You're coming out to lunch." Brook said. Lucas just shook his head.

"Don't want to, sorry." he said, turning away from her.

"I know you're hurting, but it does _not_ give you the right to act like a jerk. Like the way you exploded on Peyton today. She was just trying to be a friend. Or like pushing me away. You need people to get through this, even if you think otherwise." Brooke told him, hands on hips.

"You know what, you're right. But I can't do this right now. You're gonna have to leave." Lucas said, feeling defeated. Brooke just stared at him, confused. He turned to look at her.

"Okay," she dragged out, "I'll call you later and we'll work something out." she said, mostly to herself.

"No." was his response as she turned around. She stopped, her back to him.

"What?" he heard her ask cautiously. Lucas sighed.

"Not 'I can't do this' as in a fight. 'I can't do this' as in, I can't be in a relationship. It's just too hard. I'm sorry, honestly." he told Brooke softly. She spun around quickly, eyes narrowed to slits.

"You're 'sorry'? That's it? After everything that has happened, all that we've been through, you're not gonna even try? I mean, I know you're grieving, but you're being a little drastic." Brooke said accusingly. He sighed again and looked away.

"I really _am_ sorry. But I need to be alone. I need some time to think. It's so hard for me right now. I can't give you want you want." he tried to explain.

"And what would that be?" Brooke demanded coldly.

"Attention...happiness...love..." Lucas said, still looking away. Brooke stared at him as her eyes teared up.

"You selfish bastard!" she yelled and ran out of his room. Lucas went and laid down on the bed. He knew Brooke was right, but he couldn't fight anymore. He actually couldn't bring himself to do anything anymore.

well...here it is...and thanks for the reviews...i had a herd time writing this for some reason...lol...well r&r...tell me how ya like it!  
**SupernaturalXGurl05**


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